Why is role reversal for the minority community shunned?
Stay at home/overnight working dads who are supporting their women/wives as they excel in achieving their goals while daddy does it all at home/school are being attacked by society. These upper class women appear to have it all because they have the means, but we fail to ignore the true means. Its the support from the child's father that keeps it all together. No one else is raising their kids, but why does minority society expect the women to raise the kids while working and let the father have free-time. A good father forgets self and sacrifices for the greater good of the whole, that has never changed; however, we look down when minority men do what has been asked of them for so long. We can not have it all without working together and that is a reality we used to understand but have now gotten beside ourselves on.
I worked hard to complete college while my husband and I both worked full-time with alternating shifts for almost ten years. It wasn't easy. There was plenty of sleepless nights, illnesses and tears. It hurt my body, mind and brain to strive and persevere, but I did not do it alone and I CAN NOT imagine how so many single mothers can. My household can not afford childcare costs that equate to rent/car note. My husband DOES NOT sleep and I can not fathom how he continues day in/day out just for the sake of his kids knowing their father and being active in school functions.
I admire his beliefs because I had a father and as a daughter I know what that meant to me to have my dad involved in anything, especially since his involvement was against my mother's will. At this stage in life all relationships are vital because a person's life on this earth is so brief. I lost my dad at 25 and I do not regret ever having him in my life. I had to fight to have an active father because my mother was scorned. Now my husband has to fight to be a good dad because my mother was scorned. It is not fair.
My children are the world to me and my husband. At this point they are all we have because our parents are older and do not enjoy the same things we enjoy at 29. We are young enough to participate in fun activities, but old enough to savor quiet time. My oldest brother and I are the only children that hold Bachelors degrees, but we have had to work ten times harder for those degrees and lower pay than our two siblings who only hold certifications. My husband is a good father and husband and is dedicated to his family. When all the odds are against us, he sees a strategy to get us out of the corner.
I am not at all stating that I am not independent; however, I am stating that a family is composed of two responsible individuals, not 1. The modern marriage is composed of equal duties. Women fought so hard to have equal power, pay and rights, but refuse to let boys become men by accepting additional household duties such as cleaning, chauffeur, and PTA. I, on the other hand, am an ambitious woman who seeks out opportunity. I am overjoyed that I married such a man who is willing to let me explore my possibilities just as I support him in his. I can not imagine a healthy marriage that does not have this type of relationship.
I believe that if we want the American dream, we must first become Americans. You must do as the Americans do.
